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For Claire


Thought I couldn't get lower than I did
Turns out to get sub-zero all you have to do is dig
So I buried myself underground and hid
The weight that drags me down keeps sticking to my ribs

And I slept more than I ever did that year
Thinking about what she said before I disappeared:
That constant change won't rid be of the fear
'cause worry and reward are not the same thing as care

Well Sister you might be three hours behind
But you've always been ahead of me and ahead of your time
You never let me forget to be kind
To people and the planet and to myself more sometimes
We both call Mum almost every day just to say we're doing fine

Don't know why I thought I'd go back and it would be the same
Felt so alone on New Year's Eve and hated myself by New Year's Day
But I realised it will always be this way
Until I accept there's more to me than just my weight and shape

I know I've said it so many times now it must be getting old
But there's a difference between a resolution and a genuine resolve
And I felt it for the first time like something I could hold
Told myself I would be just fine on my own

I've been thinking a lot more lately that
Life's too short to waste with someone who wouldn't love me if I got fat
Nah, I'm not wasting any more time with that
I have lost too many years that I am never getting back


released October 26, 2018
Music & Lyrics by Rachel Maria Cox

Vocals, keys - Rachel Maria Cox
Drums - James Edge
Guitars - Joshua Gibson
Bass - Jackson Besley

Produced & Mixed by Skyepaint

Drums & Guitars Engineered by Clint Topic at Sawtooth Studios
Bass & Vocals Engineered by Amos Wellings

Mastered by Wayne Sunderland

Cover photo by Diego Esquivel


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Rachel Maria Cox Newcastle, Australia

Emo-Pop from Newcastle NSW.

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