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If I'm Smiling (It's Because I'm Thinking About Zac Efron)

from by Rachel Maria Cox

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about

“I don’t want to fuck you, I just miss you and I love you” is from Old Friends by Jen Buxton

lyrics

And it was strange going back to the place that I almost died / and I wished that you were here with me, I know I’ve said several times / I just don’t know how to explain how I feel to you / but the lights over Adelaide look beautiful and it made me think of you / Now I don’t want to fuck you in the dark anymore / I just want to hang out in my parents’ house until four in the morning / No I don’t want to fuck you I just miss you and I love you and I know that it’s been said before / but if you ever need a place to stay after work just end up at my door / and IF I’M SMILING when I kiss you I’m sorry if I pull away / I just get so damn excited thinking you might be here to stay / He pointed it out to me once and now I’m too nervous to smile / but you make me less self-conscious yeah, you make me feel worthwhile / And it was strange telling you about the space that I was in / and I don’t think you knew what to say so you didn’t say anything / I just want to go to shows with you and feel your arm around my waist / because I’ve loved you since I’ve met you and I still can’t say it to your face / Now I’m counting down the days until I see you next / hoping that you stay at my place so we can watch High School Musical 2 in bed / and when you kiss me in front of your friends it makes me feel less small / so if you ever need a place to stay after shows well you know who to call / and IF I’M SMILING when I kiss you I’m sorry if my explanation don’t make sense / I just get so damn excited when you kiss me in front of your friends / She pointed it out to me once and now I’m too nervous to smile / but you make me less self-conscious yeah, you make me feel worthwhile / so I’ll go ahead and smile.

credits

from Untidy Lines, released August 1, 2017

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Rachel Maria Cox Newcastle, Australia

Western Sydney via Newcastle sadcore.

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