1. |
A Phone I Can't Use
04:13
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I wish I could record our conversations so these songs would write themselves / Instead I cut them up like animations and try to rearrange the cells / I wish I never wrote that song, it always felt like trying too hard / So when you said it was the only one you knew, I wished I'd fucked you in the dark / Now how would you feel if I told you the truth about it all / That you're the only one I accidentally call / I always love the ones who treat me badly, always hurt the ones who treat me well / So when you told me you were flaky, well I think that's when I fell / The only people on the road this time of night are the bin men and the taxi drivers / But the glow of my phone will be my light, I'm grateful for our text all nighters / Now I'm staying up staring at A PHONE I CAN'T USE through bloodshot eyes / I'm still waiting for you to reply / Lately my eyes don't seem to focus, my legs keep falling asleep / I keep thinking my hands have turned into spiders and my heart skips another beat / I'm not sure if you were talking about my weight or my personality when you said there was not much to me / Oh but darling I'm done with the formalities, why don't you come over and see right through me / Cause I would scoop the marrow from my bones with a silver spoon / Just to have a little company in this room / Is that too soon?
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2. |
Seagulls
02:30
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You said I was jittery / Well it's always been a mystery to me / Why I still get so shaky / Well I think you've got me wrong / But I think you've got me right / And I'm sorry about that song / And I'm sorry about that night / Well it's such a small town / Yeah it's such a small town / I guess I'll see you around / I'll be anxiously scanning the crowd / I hadn't seen him in three years / He said that nothing had really changed / He drank a whole bottle of gin / But I was sober and it felt strange / We both put marks upon our skin / We both made fucked up choices and lived in sin / We both fell in love with giving in / I'm surprised I haven't seen you around / But I don't hang with that crowd / He said he'd been banned from trying to fix me / I said I don't need to be fixed / He said you know you're a worry / A group of SEAGULLS is called a wreck / So that's why we live by the sea / But I've found my flock, this is where I need to be / In this small town / How are we gonna keep this secret from coming out?
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3. |
Weighty
03:03
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My head made me into a monster / But you'd make me into as saint / I don't know what it is / What I'm after / I'm just sitting here lying in wait / And you said disregard their perceptions / It's my own that I struggle to bear / Because guilt can weigh more than dimensions / And I don't think it's going anywhere / It's so heavy, I'm so weak / I'm so heavy, I'm so weak / Well I need you here now more than ever / So of course you keep running away / I'm not looking for any more answers / I'm just looking for someone who'll stay / I didn't miss you for two years / Now I miss you every day / But you disappear like your cigarette smoke and the taste of your kiss is all that remains / It's so heavy, I'm so weak / I'm so heavy, you're so weak / But we are more than just our anatomy / More than just our insecurities / We are more than the sum of our parts put together / We are WEIGHTY and waiting and I am still learning to speak
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4. |
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I wish my body had a zip / So when it gets hot I can step on out of it / And it would say "RMC I'm done with your shit / You never treated me like I deserve to be" / I wish my brain had an off switch / So when my bathroom floods I wouldn't hear "you're a stupid bitch / you know it's your own fault you've been eating for six" / Yeah it's my fault I'm eating for six / When I say I'm feeling lonely what I mean is I'm so scared / That if my body had a zip then it would leave and I'd never see it again / I can't take another break up right now / I'm running out of Netflix shows to distract me from this empty house / I wish that you were here with me / We could watch Making A Murderer and you could hold me / Tell me again how I'm looking healthy / Tell me again how you think I'm pretty / I wish you knew what it was like / Feel my flesh is overflowing but so empty on the inside / I never learned to say goodbye / I'm running out of shit rom coms to remind me of the fact that I'll die alone in this empty house
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5. |
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You were in the corner / I was on the stage / The weather keeps getting warmer / But I still keep getting the shakes / And your friends were in the front row / Which somehow made it alright / But you went out for a smoko / Then back to the bar / Then back to the corner / The rest of the night / And the bands are BREAKING UP / But that doesn't mean it's the end for us / You might be BREAKING UP / But I promise one day you'll feel like enough / We were in the corner / You were on your phone / Well I'm not standing in the back row anymore / But I've still got a long way to go / And he wrote the monologue in your head / Better than either of us could have said / It's amazing how often that happens with Melbourne friends / And I'd miss Australia too / If this was the way it always went / I went back to my couch / My best mate of sixteen years in my bed / And I thought about you in your house / Well at least you've got your dog and your interstate friends / And I know that I'm crying / I'm honestly fine / It's just been a long time / Yeah it's been quite a while since I haven't wanted a day to end / Well I'll be in the corner / If you need me I'll wait for you / Until the misery ends
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Rachel Maria Cox Newcastle, Australia
Emo-Pop from Newcastle NSW.
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